Trump Signs Executive Order Giving Him Control of Weather
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what some congressional Democrats are calling a flagrant example of Presidential overreach, Donald Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order giving him total control of the weather.
Under the terms of the order, Trump would assume the unilateral power to create all meteorological conditions, including but not limited to hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, hail, sleet, and wintry mix.
After signing the order, a beaming Trump pronounced “total victory” over the weather, which he called “the enemy of the people.”
“I have been treated very unfairly by the weather,” Trump said. “The weather is a horrible person.”
On Fox News, Sean Hannity praised Trump’s decision to seize control of the weather and compared it favorably to former President Barack Obama’s weather policy, which he called “a trainwreck.”
“Obama just let the weather run wild,” Hannity said.
Although Trump’s executive order is certain to face legal challenges, White House sources indicated that the President was ready to press forward with an additional order giving him dominion over all living things, the planets, and the stars.
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