30 years of entertaining
the WORLD
John is the god of dirt.I have been a huge fan well I
would say for 12 years.I love his wit & the humor of it
all.The world should be scared.The fucker will stop at
nothing. Thank you Mr.Valby for making me laugh for
12 years now.congrats on the big 30 & I look forward
to the next 30.
Mike B.


Comment about John. :   I love the songs and knock
knock jokes you are the greatest john and we all
thank you for all the laughs and smiles you bring
James Young

John I was turned on to you by my neighbor Scott the
webmaster of this site about 8 years ago.I have about
14 of your cd's & love them all.I have never had a
chance to see you live in concert.You are the
greatest & funniest person I have ever heard in my
life.
When ever I get down about the world or life it self I
just pop in one of my self help cd's,you know Dr.Dirty
& then I feel better.
Thanks John for all the laughs & I look forward to 30
years more
GOD BLESS YOU & the USA
DOUG FOX-Ithaca NY


30 years, man oh man! How much dirt can one man
think of during that long period?  It's amazing how Dr.
Dirty is able to cum up with all his songs, and it's also
amazing how after 30 years he is still popular and
cumming up with new dirty content we all know and
love.
Lawrence Ross


John I just now learned that you have been at this for
30 years.Is this true?or are they just trying to make
you look good?You don't look like you could be old
enuff.What were you twelve when you started?Oh
yes the webmaster said we had to say thanks for the
memories,So thanks & I mean thanks John.There are
times you have just lite up my life when it needed it
most.
Love Ya Big DD
Linda Mesh from long island


I first got turned on to John about 10 years ago.  A
friend of mine told meI would love this tape it is "ME"  
So I listened to it and fell in love with it immediately.  
Then I became a Dr. Dirty follower from there.  The
only problem is I live in Omaha NE. and it is not
where he comes to often.  I am working on trying to
get a bar to book him so he can have a show here so I
can see him live.  Keep up the great work John.
Leo Stillmock


John we all love & appreciate what you do.You are
the funniest guy in the world.About 12 years ago I
went to a club with a bunch of girl friends in long
island.You were playing & I remember it cost $8.00 to
get in.We almost did'nt go but then we said what the
fuck.I had the best time of my life last night & even
meet my future husband that night. Now once a year
we go to your show to celebrate.Thank you for the
laughter & joy you bring us all.
A true fan.
Donna rue


Hay John boy!man it is hard to beleive it's been 30
years man.
I made a film called losin'it with Tom Cruise back in
the day.
I had a small part in the film & so did you.Man if you
look back at the film ,it's hard to imagine it was
directed by Curtis Hanson.
Well John I have only seen you perform Twice in my
life.Once in the seen we shot in the film & once in
Florida some years later.
The world love ya John
J.E.H.-LA California


Hi Scott, I first heard John when one of my friends
played a tape of himat a party we had, I never had
laughed so much in my life. The firsttime I seen him
was at Mahanoy/PA fire house a few years ago, had
thebest time ever. I hope he comes back again... Lots
of drunk Rednecks inthere!!!! I have so many great
memories of John but probably the mostamazing
thing is the way he can bring the wild side out of any
shyinnocent girl, and also how he talks to all his fans
during and afterthe shows.
Thanks
Jason
See a few of Jasons pictures from a Valby show in
2003
CLICK HERE



Well I have a long history with John Valby.  I first
heard John's stuff in the 7th grade in 1987.  A friend of
mine got a local record store owner to copy John
Valby record albums onto cassette tapes for him.  He
then made me copies.  This was by far the most
addicting music and comedy that I had ever heard.  
Considering that I had been listening to Bill Cosby,
George Carlin, Cheech and Chong, Eddie Murphy, and
Steve Martin on album and tapes, Valby was just
great for a boy going through puberty.  Hell, Valby's
material gave me much of my sexual education.  His
was the dirtiest shit that I had ever heard.  I began
making bootlegs for my immediate group of friends.  
Soon the entire high school was singing Dr. Dirty
tunes.  Valby's songs became like anthems for my
immediate friends and myself.  I'd never even seen a
picture of John back then, so I didn't know anything
about him.  Rumor had it that he had been banned
from performing in the city of Buffalo.  I talked to
quite a few people in school who knew his stuff, but
knew nothing about him. Where did he live?  Did he
still play live shows or record at all? If so, where?
When?  Years past and I graduated from high school
in my hometown of Plattsburgh, NY.  I attended
college as a freshman in Rochester, NY.  Little did I
know that I was actually in the city of John's birth.  I
was suprised one day in college when I started to
sing a few Valby songs, a couple others sang along.  
They knew them.  I asked of those that knew his stuff,
but nobody knew anything about the man behind the
dirt.  "Damn," I thought, "this guy's like the Wizard of
Oz."  Again years past.  I came to live back home in
Plattsburgh.  All my buddies would come home from
college on vacations and we would go out to bars and
invariably one of us would break into a Valby song
that spawned a dirty sing-a-long.  One day, one of my
close pals from high school came over to my house
and told me that he had found a Valby website with
concert dates and pictures of the man.  My friend
joked that he looked like me in about twenty or thirty
years.  I can be quite a dirt-meister myself (Thanks to
John).  My buddy and I found that the nearest
upcoming show was in Cohoes, NY at a place called
"Saratoga Winners."  Cohoes is about an hour and a
half from our hometown.  Roadtrip! We saw our first
show and it was a dream come true.  Not only did this
guy live up to my imaginings, but exceeded them.  As
a bonus, I found out that he had groupies.  There were
a couple of hot skanks at that particular show that
John actually had to stop from going any further on
stage.  They mauled each other.  Man, this is a great
country!  Since that first show I've been back to see
the good Doctor at Winners three more times.  One
was a Christmas show that rocked and another was
my bachelor party.  We have a blast each time that
we see him.  Shortly after the last show we saw in
Cohoes, Valby played in Saranac Lake at a bar called
"The Door."  This is only about an hour away from
home.  We've since seen him twice there.  I brought
my wife to one of those shows and she loved it.  One
of our female friends even got up on stage with John
and "performed."  Later I found out that John is a
football fan and the Bills are his team, if my info is
correct.  Buffalo is my team too as coincidence would
have it.  My favorite stuff of John's is the older stuff
and the classics - Eat, Bite, Barnacle Bill, Pixies, etc.  
My favorite all time Valby tune is his version of The
Sounds of Silence.  Ever since hearing it, I now sing
his words instead or the originals when I hear it on
the radio or something.  I would like to thank John
Valby for all the entertainment, education, and
helping to form my strong belief in uncensored
speech.  Thanks Doc!  Keep up the dirt! Tracy S.
Guynup  



I always wanted an opportunity to say "Thank you"
and now I have it. My first show was way back in the
80's. We went on a whim and I have been hooked
ever since. I have only missed a handful of local
shows in all these years. Every show is a blast & I
even got engaged one Saturday night just before a
show. There is one however that stands out above
the rest. A large group of us had tickets to go see
John at Saratoga Winners the Saturday following the
September 11th attacks. Of course that was one hell
of a week. The sadness, the shock of it all! Several
people were going to back out of going because they
were all too sad and upset. I insisted we all still go.
What we needed was to laugh, forget for awhile if
possible, and understand that we could not let these
people ruin our lives. Well, everyone went, and I
remember John thanking everyone for being there in
light of what had just happened. The things he said
that night let you know what a really wonderful guy
he is and we respected the hell out of him for it. We
laughed harder that night then we ever had before!
Somehow through drinking, laughing and singing, it
was our way to say "Fuck you" to those who had tried
to take so much from us! He made us laugh as he
always does and we all felt so much better! So for
that......I thank you John, so very much!   A fan
forever......   Betsi Kulls



Happy anniversary, you fuckin' shitbag!!!! I've been
listening to you for 20+ years, and never missed you
when you came all over Toad's Place. Now you have
to start cumming to Arizona, they would love you out
here. And fuck thanks for the memories... Thanks for
all the MAMMARIES at your shows. I loved when I
could take my girlfriends there and get them to flash
titties or their cooch. Have another 30 wonderful
years , you politically incorrect bastard!!!!!!

John K. Mesa, AZ



My first Dr Dirty encounter was in high school in 1977,
Binghamton NY @ Popeyes.
We saw The Doctor of Dirt quite a few times at
Popeyes. Then we moved to Florida.
John showed up to entertain me @ The Candy Store.
in Ft. Lauderdale.
Now I've moved to Allentown PA. John started here
@ the Pine, now he
plays @ Croc Rock.
I'll be there next show (November 17th). By the way
John, I have a MP3
where you mention Sylvan Beach.
I have a cottage there and would love to see you back
there. I have
seen
you near there @ Turning Stone too.
Front row at your Thanksgiving show 2 years ago.
You should cum back to Sylvan beach. try the Sunset
Grill (Talk to
Donny
or Mark), or try the Tiki, (The old SANDS).
I'll bet they would give you a warm welcum.
I've been a Dirt fan for 28 out of your 30 years, and my
wife of 25
years loves you too. In fact she introduced me to
your dirt.
Keep up the great work John.

Steve Faidley



Mr. V.....I've been a fan since one drunken night in
1980 when one of my fraternity brothers popped in a
cassette, hit play and I heard " I knew a girl her name
was Nancy.....I came in her eye and now she can't
see.."
I didn't hear the next 2 or 3 lines because I wet my
self laughing and you've had me laughing ever since.  
Thank you very much you sick bastard!!!!!!
Vic Moretti, Phoenixville, PA.



My fucking GOD.  If you've been doing this 30
years......I must be......OLD!

Greetings from your hometown old man....You used
to scare the shit out of me as a college student at
Canisius.  But you made me laugh in spite of myself.  
Hell, you were everywhere back then - the Buff State
Pub was where I remember seeing the most shows. (I
don't think the Jesuits would let you on campus).  

Now all my filthy friends from out of town bring you
up out of the blue - and the fact that you've become a
national act, damn - I mean, it just disturbs me
greatly!  LMAO

All the best Dr.  Keep on rhyming & writing.

Debbie B.  


Fuckin' Yea Baby!!!  I was hooked on J Valby back in
college about 1984.  A friend of mine had a pirated
cassette tape with about 15 songs on it.  Eat Bite, Hey
Lade, Just like a Woman, Eat Bite, Skeeter, Was it
You, Always a Woman.  I can still belt'm out with the
best of them!! This is Soooo Cooool.  He's still out
there and has a whole bunch more GOOD SHIT.  I've
found 4 of the CD's and am lookin for more.  My kids
are now in college and it's CORRUPTION TIME!! I hope
they some of the same fine fuckin memories that I
have partying, listening, and singing to these
wonderful odes to the dirty mind in all of us.

Congrats on thirty years and now 2 generations!!!!

Jack   MrGSDad@aol.com


Dear John.
Guess what? Fuck You, Eat Shit hahaha, my name is
Lori Huard  and I saw your show for the very first time
in July at Hampton Beach Casnio and I LOVED IT!!!!
You were so funny I've been looking online to see
when your going to come back to Hampton casnio but
it doesn't say that you are. I was woundering are you
coming back to Hampton Casino?.
Anyways I loved your show I'd almost peed my pants
I laughed so hard my dad, sister, brother, boyfriend,
and sister in law LOVE You to death you are so funny.
I liked the part were you signed my boobs and my
shirt that was the best part I hope to see you again
you don't come to Masschusetts enough so I hope
you come to the Hampton Beach Casino again.  I am
going to the November 11th in Fanille Hall in Boston
Masschusetts, I try not to miss a show when you
come around. I can't wait to see you in November.
                    Keep ROCKIN!!!
                         Truely
                       Lori Huard

Hey, I am in the ARMY and I just want to let John
know that we appreciate his support.  Keep up the
songs about Iraq and Saddam.  I listen to your CDs
everyday and take them to work with me to share
with others.  I love this music.  I will listen to John
Valby for a very long time to come.  Thank You for all
you day.  GOD BLESS the U.S.A
bill

Hey John been fan for about 15 yrs.  Can't wait for
you to come to Saratoga winners on Dec.17th!  It will
be my 35th concert!  Thankyou for all the great fuckin
times!  Don't ever stop

Vahan Vrijian


The Honorable Dr.JV....
You fuckin' Rock you filthy dirty bitch!
....NYC luvs you cuntbag fuckface!!!
Daveys Navy
a/k/a Whipped Brain



I caught your show at The Island Club,in Mayfield
Pennsylvania,one word.....AWSOME!!!
Can't wait untill your back in the Scranton Pa. area
again!!!!!
Desperado3596


I've been a big fan for years------seen John's show a
long time ago when I lived in Michigan (before the
dark times,,,,,,, before moving to Iowa)........IS THERE
ANY FUCKING CHANCE that he'll come to DEAD
Moines and liven this shithole up????????
Keep the "Dirt" coming and FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Paul



Repeat after me:
I must cum to Pittsburgh
I must cum to Pittsburgh
I must cum to Pittsburgh
We saw John at Conneaut Lake in June of this year
and were dissapointed that he didn't get back there in
September.
We have been fans since 1986 when i got hold of a
tape that was making the rounds here.
We finally got to see John at Conneaut and
immediatly got hooked.
We had a great time listening to John harass the guy
at the table behind us because he was from West
Virginia. WE NEED MORE DIRT!

Thanks for a great evening and keep the dirt goin!

G Tronsberg



HEY SCOTT WHATS UP? THANKS FOR THE UPDATE,
I WAS AT ONE OF JOHNS LAST SHOWS IN WEST
NYACK AT THE PALISADES CENTER MALL,
RASCALS COMEDY CLUB ON THE 22ND OF SEPT.
WHICH WAS A GOOD TURNOUT AND A GOOD SHOW
BUT THE GIRLS WERE BITCHES, THEY GOT UP FOR
BARNICLE BILL,THEN WHEN "IF YOURE HORNY AND
YOU KNOW IT" CAME TIME,THEY DIDNT WANT TO
HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.IVE SEEN VALBY
OVER TWENTY TIMES AT THE CHANCE IN
POUGHKEEPSIE NY AND THIS WAS A FIRST THAT
JOHN COULDNT GET ANY OF THEM TO SHOW
ANYTHING,THAT WAS REALLY A SHOCK JOHN
COULDNT GET THE JOB DONE.EVEN OFFERING A
FREE CD AND NOTHING DOIN.WHICH BY THE WAY
THE NEW CD "VALBY ROCKS" WASNT THAT GOOD
AT ALL,BUT I CANT WAIT TILL A NEW PIXIES ALBUM
COMES OUT.IM SAD THAT IM ONLY GONNA SEE
VALBY ONE MORE TIME WHEN HE COMES AROUND
AGAIN IN JAN 06,CUZ ILL BE MOVING TO SOUTH
CAROLINA IN APRIL 06,AND I KNOW HE DOESNT
COME DOWN THERE,WHICH IS GOING TO SUCK,I
WILL MISS SEEING HIM VERY MUCH.WELL TALK TO
YOU SOON-PEACE AND CHICKEN GREASE AND OF
COURSE-"FUCK YOU"-ROB



Hey

For the last few week have I been listening som alot
of John Valby music and I must say that i nearly have
fallen in love with our Dr Dirty. ;-)
Now i want to buy som CDs, DVDs etc. with John
Valby, but i Don't have that opportunity here in
Denmark were i live. So; do you know any places in
Denmark (yeah the little country in Europe) where i
can buy som stuff with John Valby or can i buy it here
on this website?
And last but not least; did you know that John is one
of the most common boyname in denmark and Valby
is at large city nearby the capital Copenhagen...? :P
I will love to hear from you.
brgds
Nicolaj Pedersen



Dear John, We just recently met, at the Mt.View in
North Adams. I'm the booking agent for the club. I just
wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your show,
and I'm praying for a speedy recovery. Hey you have
to get better we're planning another show for October.
Seriously, you're in our prayers.

       Bruce Witherell - Aries Entertainment



You are truly a horny genius by every sense of those
words. I have never seen anyone like you or anyone
as filthy as you are. The Sarasota show was great.
You just come up with random shit.  "I once knew a
guy named John,
he'd flash and then people thought he had a pawn or
something. " You put mewith lucky charms anyways
you probably forget how that went and so do I lol.
You're the man. FUCK YOU! next time you come to
sarasota, you have to sing IT'S A LITTLE BIT FUNNY.
Because yuo can fuck everybody, I wont give a
damn. I liked your autograph signatures you gave me
on my 3 cd's I purchased. Rock on!

John




Man, it was everything all rolled into one night.
Arrived at the club at around seven forty-five, got the
tickets, then went to head.  Met some guy who I had
no idea what his name was, but later on, we found out
his name was Walt - trust me, Walt got wripped on a
lot, but it was all in good fun.  John did his regular
opener, then did "Twinkkle twinkle Little Twat."  Then
he did a new version of "My Way" then did "Feeding
tube."  Then he asked how many new commers were
in the audience, lots and lots of rookies.  He did
"Always A woman," then he did the sing-a-long tunes,
paying homage to Tampa in a few of them.  After the
first set was done, I had to pee again, met Greg from
the dirt freaks, Greg is a cool guy.  The second set
started, John was pretty fucked up, he screwed a few
notes on a few songs, but it was still a cool show.  
After the show was over, had a privillage to meet
John, as soon as I said I know Scott Brown, he talked
about you for a few seconds, then my Dad and I left.  
My Dad became a fan rather quickly, and the sound
was good to.  One of th wires in the piano was
screwed for a few seconds, but the problem was
fixed, John keeped playin', a fun night.
Lawrence Ross on his Virgin Valby show
(Virgin is a first timer)




Webmaster,
I just got back from my first show in Boca Raton. I
had an idea what to expect, but Dr. Dirty surpassed
my
expectations. I can only imagine how crazy his shows
up North may be. This was a great experience, and I
hope the good doctor returns to Florida in the future.
Sincerely,
Michael Rabiner
P.S. I'm drunk as a motherfucker, so forgive me if I
sound incoherent.
(another damn Virgin)




Dr. Dirty strikes once more,
ripping on all the whores.
2 hours away is what I drove,
to see Dr. Dirty's joke unfold
In Boca Raton he made his statement,
Jews, spics, niggers laughing
on the pavement.
His rhymes of perversion and filth he sang,
My 30th Birthday went with a bang.
It was a laugh, a riot, a kick,
my wife was told she better
suck my dick!
FUCK YOU, screamed out loud,
Middle fingers standing up proud.
It was fun, it was great,
I want to see more
come back to Florida,
home of the southern whore!
Thank you Dr. Dirty for a great night
You humor was just right!

Chip - Florida



Hi , my name is Sal,  yes, that one. I was the one
being abused last night. I actually , you could say,
took one for the team. The mostly Boca crowd did not
have a fucking clue what the fuck was going on. I
think they were there just to get out.  The four bitches
that got up during Barnicle Bill did not show their tits.
Dr. Dirty was pissed off like a motherfucker. I think if
it wasn;t for me, my wife and the guy next to us who
mooned the crowd, the show from the audience side
would have sucked.  Dr. Dirty as always put on a
fucking great show.  Here's a picture of Dr. Dirty, my
wife, Glory and I flippin' the bird to all those Boca
assholes.  Fuck you and Merry Christmas.    Sal  
sorry for the blury picture




Thirty years of dirt; Well, I go back much longer than
that, The Charles. You go with the William Tell
Overture. I got turned on to the dirt when my son
brought home a cassette and was playing it in his
room.  I almost killed him, not for the dirt but for the
cassette. I knew I heard that amazing voice
somewhere. When you came to town, I got my ticket,
and to my great surprise and shock, i found myself in
line with 600 people. (Gee, in our neck of the woods I
thought I was  the only one who knew who you were).
It was a great night with more to follow, and a lot of
friends made along the way. My children and all my
friends have been in that audience and are hooked.
But my biggest surprise was watching Losin' It on
HBO late one night.  Where did I see and hear that
man before?????
And with no one to call at such a late hour. And then
who would believe that I knew someone in a Tom
Cruise movie.
Proud to say I've known John Valby for 35 years;
proud to have been there in the old days, proud to be
around today.
Brazen enough to say fuck those who tend to miss
the other musical side of a great entertainer. Keep on
fuckin'

Jackie Ruchinski



Timeline of my love for the dirt.
By  Lawrence Ross

While driving home from a Lightning game in January
2004 with some out of town friends, I asked who they
liked as far as comedy went.  The guy next to my
Dad, named Kenny (My dad’s friend’s name is Kenny,
my dad’s name is Lloyd) said he like George Carlin,
Chris Rock, John Valby.  As soon as I got home, I
heard some samples and laughed my ass off.  Months
went by, visited johnvalbynation.com almost daily, a
cute little site back in the day, it’s grown since then.  
Towards the end of May, I grew a bigger set of balls to
ask my Dad to order one of John’s CD’s.  We visited
the site (laughdome.com), ordered the CD, nearly
peed my pants.  Then, my Birthday came around,
what’s on my list, anything from John Valby.  Wish
granted I might add.  In March of 2005, visited the
contests page on johnvalbynation.com, and to my
supprise, I saw my name for March 2005.  Got John’s
latest CD back then, absolutely loved it.  A few
months later, I was checking the guest book like I
always do, and some guy wrote in something to the
effect of “I’ll see you in Tampa on Nov. 30.”  I checked
the tour dates and sure enough, there it was, Nov. 30
at Sidesplitters in Tampa.  Finally, the big night
arrived.  It was me and my Dad’s first show, we had a
great time.
Now you know… The Rest of the story.



hey have a very merry christmas and a happy fuckin
new year !! awesome job and website !! pass this on
to john too !! keep up the fucken singing you would
be lost if you didnt entertain all  us ... thanks for
nothin!!!! see ya Tags or maybe or maybe  at the hay
wagon party in ulster/towanda...  
-Beebop




Dear John,

I had a buddy over the other night and we started
talking about great local musical acts -- he's from
Maryland, me Syracuse.  Eventually the light bulb
went off and I pulled out your album "Dirt" from what
must have been 1975 (the Nixon and Betty Ford stuff
gives it away).  In the late 70s I saw you a slew of
times in Syracuse, and you've always had an
impression on me, both in terms of your humor and
piano, both of which I pursue to this day.  Turns out
my buddy saw you 30 years ago as well.  He was
blown away when I replayed such classics as "Hey
Lade," "Ah-Yi-Yi-Yi" and, of course, the "Eat Bite
Song."  After listening to that very scratchy vinyl (ah,
vinyl...) we went to the computer and found out
you're still doing your act.  Well, Abbie Hoffman may
have gone from yippie to stock broker, but I'm proud
you haven't sold out.  Damn, you even still have the
same bowler! A piece of my youth was rekindled
knowing that you're still bringing joy to drunken
assholes from Buffalo to Pittsburgh (Jesus, John, I
thought you'd make it to Chicago by now  ;)
Keep on pounding those keys like a Chicken Ranch
whore...
Your pal,
Robin Weitz
(rweitz@bwr-la.com)



You know the songs, but until you've seen him live,
you're missing a chance to experience a true national
treasure.  Seeing a Dr. Dirty show was one of the best
times I've ever had and the most laughing I'd ever
done in a single night.
                                 A huge fan Paul, New Jersey



I just want to let you know that you rock.I have
introduced alot of people to you work for the past 3
years.They all keep asking when I will take them to
see you again.Could you tell me when you may be in
Conneaut Lake again?Can't wait to hear your new
work, keep rocking man.

Thanks,
Marc


Hey John, super new site. Been a fan since the late
70s. I laugh just as hard now as then.Cant get the real
songs right any more your words pop in. Thank You
very much. Missed you last time you were in the
north west. So i'll save my coin and come to you.
Keep it up! Asshole   

John


Hi My name is Larry Tract-  we saw Dr. Dirty circa
'79-'80 I believe in Rye, NY.  He is awesome.  I am
now 43 and am looking forward to seeing him in
January, I believe Jan 21,'06 at Governors in Long
Island.  Bang Bang Rosie is one of my favorites!!
We were a group of about 10-15 guys from Roslyn, LI
mostly and we had a blast.

All the best!!



I first experienced the good doctor some 20 years
ago. A friend of mine gave me this tape to listen to.
So, I popped it in on my way home from a shitty night
at work. Needless to say, I laughed my ass off. In fact,
I had to pull over to the side of the road because I
almost wrecked my car! Barnacle Bill was playing and
I was laughing so hard that I was crying...I almost hit a
tree.From that moment on, I was hooked. I had
always dreamed of seeing him. But it seemed that no
one in the mid-west knew who he was when I
mentioned him!!!! *HINT HINT* Come to Indiana, John...
they would love you here! But I digress...I work in a
hospital and one of the ICU nurses was humming this
little tune in a patient's room...and when I finished the
song for him (Was it you who did the pushing?), his
eyes lit up! "Holy fuck! You know that song?" That
lead to a delightful evening discussion of the classic
Valby songs...damn, we laughed hard. Thank
goodness the patient was comatose....he would have
thought we were crazy!As I mentioned, seeing Dr.
Dirty live has always been a dream of mine. And it
appears it is going to some true! I am coming out to
PA for the March 24th show in Wilkes Barre!!!! This
has been a long time in cumming..I mean, coming!
The 11 hour drive will be so worth it!Keep us
laughing, John! See ya March 24th!!!!!
                   Melissa Jones
                   Lafayette, IN


FUCK YOU & Congratulations on 30 Years!  I
beganlistening to John in 1986 at the tender age of 9
years old.  I'll never forget the first time I heard him.  I
had found a cassette tape that belonged to my older
brother (who was 20 years old at the time), and when
I put it in the stereo I got the shock of my life!  
"Philosophical Bullshit" started playing and I thought
HOLY SHIT... there is a guy playing the piano and
singing songs with CURSES in them!!!  At 9 years old,
I was a bit too young to understand what some of the
songs were about... but I sure did know that he was
saying fuck, shit, dick, asshole, pussy, cunt, twat and
various other words that I knew were BAAAAAADDD!  
I must have played that tape for all of my friends so
many times as a kid... of course with the volume very
low so our parents wouldn't know what we were
listeneing too.  As I got older, the songs began to
make a whole lot more sense and then
I realized the true genius of John Valby.  But I must
admit,
what kept me listening through all those years as a
kid when I had no idea what a lot of his songs were
saying, was John's outstanding piano playing!  I too
am a pianist and I believe John to be one of the best
pianists I've ever had the pleasure to see perform!  I
had the opportunity to meet Dr. Dirty a few years ago
at a show he did at Governors Comedy Cabaret on
Long Island.  I told him of my fondness for his playing
and I could tell right away that it was a compliment he
loved to hear from his fans.  I told him I was a piano
player too and he gave me some quick pointers for
my playing and then autographed my "Give Me Dirt or
Give Me Death" CD with the following:

Joe,
Eat pussy and gargle!  
-John Valby
P.S. practice everyday

CONGRATULATIONS ON 30 YEARS OF FILTH!!

-Joe    



Wow...it's been 30 years since I've seen you and I
was on the Kid Rock board and for some reason just
started thinking about your songs because one of the
users had a Parental Advisory Sticker as an Avatar
and it reminded me of all the nasty songs you wrote!!!
Brought a big smile on my face!! It ends up she
knows who you are and directed me to the site...I was
shocked because it's been so long!!!
I remember you playing a bar called Knickerbockers
in Cheektowaga, NY, it was an outside concert...I was
only about 14 or 15 and couldn't get in the show, but
knew of you because my brother had your album!!
We hung out just far enough outside the event and
we could hear the music...I can still see it!  We
memorized every single song and I still can quote
them today.
I now live in Birmingham, AL, but I'm going up to see
my family in July...I swear I'm confiscating that
Album!!! My husband is a collector and has
approximately 15,000 albums and we have been
fortunate enough to hang out and become friends
with a few Rock Stars...
Shit, I didn't know you were still doing your show....
WOW, I just can't believe I found you after 30 fuckin'
years!!!
Mark Germany...I know I KNOW you...where are you
from (I saw your comment on the website)
Thanks for all the good memories...hope I'll get to see
you sometime, now that I'm 43J

Cheryl Colburn...last name used to be Ladowski



Hey John! Long time no see.

I first heard you when my mother was playing one of
your albums in the early 80s. Then my friend, Rosie,
and I met youafter one of your shows in Buffalo.

Now here’s a blast from the past… do you remember
the name Thumper???

You used to call me up to do the Fair Young Maiden
song. Not to mention the wet T-shirt contest in
Canada.

I MISS YOU! I’ve since moved to Phoenix AZ and you
MUST make some tour dates

out to the west coast!!!Please Cum!!!

Every so often I’ll start singing one of your songs and
no one knows what
the hell I’m singing. It’s not right! You must cum share!
Your long (tall) lost friend…

Thumper



Dr. Dirty, Fuck you!
If I could only count the number of times I said that at
your shows!  Now, I haven't seen you since 1978
when you played at the Slide Inn in downtown
Syracuse, remember that fuckin' shithole of a dive?  
Holy CRAP that place was great!  I STILL have LP's
personally autographed by you!  There's imitators
that have ripped you off here in NJ, but YOU... ARE
STILL...after 30 fuckin' years.... the MESSIAH OF
MUCK!  The PROFESSOR OF PUTRESCENCE!  The
fuckin' SAVANT OF SMUT!

YOU.... ROCK!

Congrats on 30 fuckin' years!

Don Cook
"Cooker"
djdonn@comcast.net



IN THE LATE 70'S i WAS STATIONED IN THE  U.K.
AND ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO
WORKED WITH ME GAVE ME A DR. DIRTY TAPE TO
LISTEN TO AND I'VE BEEN HOOKED EVER
SINCE. THE LAST TIME JOHN CAME TO TAMPA, I
HAD TO GO TO A DEAR FRIENDS FUNERAL
.....AND IT TOOK HIS FUNERAL TO KEEP ME FROM  
MAKING IT TO A DR. DIRTY CONCERT AT
SIDESPLITTERS AND IN THE OLD DAYS, AT A CLUB
IN ST. PETERSBURG !  I BROUGHT A
FRIEND TO ONE OF THE CONCERTS...HE SAID THAT
THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD
SING A DITTY WITH HIS NAME IN IT !       WRONG
ANSWER....JOHN WAS SINGING IT IN 14
SECONDS AND MY BUDDY ARMANDO WAS  SLINKED
DOWN IN THE CHAIR IN DISBELIEF THAT
ANYBODY WAS OR IS THAT TALENTED OR QUICK
WITTED !WAY TO GO JOHN........I'll SEE YOU
AT SIDESPLITTERS ON THE 25TH!    

                                           WALT

wanted to drop a line about computer song 1, 2, and
3.  They're fuckin awesome and i'd like to hear more.  
Valby's the man



First Name :   JENNIFER
URL & or e-mail address :   TAKENBY3NOT24@AOL.
COM
Comment about John or this site? :   DR.DIRTY IS AN
AWSOME MUTHA FUCKA... LOVE HIS WORK, AND
THE WAY HE GETS THE CROUD GOING IS AWSOME,
STILL NEEDS A RHYME TO GO WITH THE NAME
DAMIEN THOUGH   HAHA
How long have you been a Valby fan? :   6 YRS
First time you ever seen John in concert? :   
OCTOBER OF 2001  LOL, MY MOMS AND STEP DAD
TOOK ME AND THE HUBBY TO THE KINGS ROOK IN
ERIE PA, GREAT SHYT
Favorite Valby song? :   THEY ARE ALL GREAT
Favorite Valby cd? :   HMMM I HAVE ALL OF THEM,
HARD TO DESCIDE



Scott,
Please let John know that the first time I went to his
show was in the
early
70's. I had just got out of the US Army and my
"friends" took me to the
Show
boat or was it River boat on the River. He was playing
ragtime piano
and
just started mixing in dirty ditties, We were throwing
peanuts all over
the
place. I used my GI bill and went to UB. Back then he
was playing at a
bar
just by the State teachers. I forget the name of he bar,
but they would
take
an old toilet and line it with a plastic bag, mix booze
AND wine in it
and
sell a cup for fity cents.

Followed  John down to Daytona Fl. for spring break
that year, He was
playing at the Riveria Redcarpet inn. I think that was
also the first
year
they opened Disney World so we coundn't get a room
with in 50 miles.

That summer I got a job at a place on main and transit
called Melonies.
John
was playing there one week a month. One night A few
of the Buffalo
Sabres
were there and John spotted Jerry Korab while he
was playing the "oh
loddie
loddie " song, and he sang  I know a guy his name is
Jerry oh loddie
lodiie
loddie they call him King Kong but he's really a Fairy.
The place went
crazy.

My music turned to Flat top bluegarss guitar. But one
night at a
campfire,
after a cocktail or 2,  that damn EAT BITE song that
has been burned
into my
brain, 30 years ago, came out . I really do have talent
but now that is
my
most requested song.

Damn you ? or thank you?

Tom


The very 1st time i heard John Valby, I was 13 years
old  when a friend gave me a poorly recorded
homemade tape of his show ... I memorized very
word of the eat bite song( and the entire tape) &
turned everyone of my friends onto it as well... even
brought the tape to art class in the the 7th grade.. of
course i was quickly kicked out of the class but  the
look on that bitchs  face when she realized what we
were listening to was priceless!!
I was once at a Puglias in little italy late one night,
when i heard someone softly singing barnacle bill
INCORRECTLY to their freinds... Much to their
surprise I started chiming in  and before you know it
we were  doing our own valby singalong and
everyone was  having a blast!!
That was 25 years ago...
Since then I have been to about 15 valby shows (
even with my mom) in  the NJ area and it always
amazed me that i would see the same people at the
shows all the time.. The material never gets old ...its
just as funny now as it was when i was 13...
Thanks for all the fun & memories over the years!!  I
will be coming to see you again soon!! til then ...
AHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!
Antoinette
NJ


HI JOHN JUST HOME FROM YOUR STONE PONY
SHOW AND AS ALWAYS IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME
YOU DID a lot OF THE OLDIES I HAVE SEEN YOU
OVER 80 TIME AND I TRY NOT TO MISS ANY THAT
YOU DO IN JERSEY. YOU EVEN DID MY NAME IN
HAYLADIE THANK YOU FOR A GRATE SHOW FROM
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU I KNEW THAT YOU
WOULD KEEP GOING STRONG AND NOW YOUR AT
30 YEARS ...................... I MISSED THE FIRST 10 BUT
IM SURE IM NOT GOING TO MISS ANY MORE.  WISH
YOU WOULD PUT PIXIELAND  ON CD  I  HAVE WORN  
OUT 8 TAPES SO FAR

                                                     FOREVER YOUR FAN
                                                                  KATHY

                           PS NOT SURE IF ILL EVER WASH MY
TIT



No live shows unfortunately... Hopefully someday
soon.
All I had as a kid was a tape.  That tape got me thrown
off the bus on
a 7th grade ski trip and the tape was confiscated.  
That was 25 years
ago.  To this day I can still sing major portions of the
'End of the
Month', '12 Days of Xmas' 'Roll your leg over' and
'Gangbang' from memory.
- Jeff from Chappaqua, NY



November 22nd – Happy Birthday – Mine is the 29th –
born the year he was assasinated……  Want to let all
the Georgia Fans that Dr dirty is cumming to see us –
March!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WOO FUCKING HOOO     
FUCK YOU
Gracemarie De Carli
Kennesaw Georgia
Origination:  Ctereach LI NY
Fuck you!!!!



Hi John,

Back in 1985/86 I was a 19 year old sailor aboard the
USS America on a cruise to the Mediterranean Sea.
That was the time we bombed the piss out of our old
buddy Muammar/Momar/Muanmar Kaddafi/Ghaddaffi
(whatever the F his name is and however it is
spelled) at any rate, that is irrelevant.
Whilst at sea, a buddy of mine got his hands on a
cassette tape (remember those things?) of this
wicked funny, awesome pianist named "Dr. Dirty" We
played the color out of that tape! We would actually
listening parties for large groups of guys as the word
of this music spread throughout the ship. There were
5000+ guys on board this vessel so we had quite a
few "parties"
Just the other day, I stumbled across your website by
accident and thru a little research discovered that you
are still touring and occasionally come down here to
the Sarasota/Bradenton/Tampa Bay area where I live.
I cannot wait until you come back! With that said, I
would like to sign up for your newsletter so that I may
be kept a"breast" of your tour dates and guarantee
myself a spot at your next show here at "McCurdy's",
or McCuddy's or whatever the hell the name of that
joint is down there in Sarasota.

God Bless Ya John! You made a horrific experience
somewhat tolerable for all of us swingin' dicks back
then and just knowing you are still out there pissing
people off and making the rest of us laugh gives me a
chubby!
Thank You Sir,
Chris



James C. (Chris) Shores
12731 Rockrose Glen
Bradenton, Florida 34202


Just saw John at the Chance in Poughkeepsie --
helluva show -- he must have put down 8 shots and
several beers...At the end of the show he could
barely talk anymore...he disappeared upstairs with a
young fat drunk tart that he coaxed up on stage
during the 'audience participation' part of the show.  
She had a big moon face, beer belly, glasses and high
floppy tits.  She did have a shaved bush, so I had to
give her some extra points there.  Not sure I would
have had the courage to bang her myself...at least not
while 300+ people watched me lead her off stage...ah,
the power of whiskey!   What a life.

Chris W.



Hi

Your site Rocks and so do you!  I love your dirty
Christmas songs, I sometimes try to sing along but I
do not know all the lyrics, where can I find some of
the lyrics to your Christmas songs??

My little niece and Nephew love "silent fart" and yes
they do sing it, it is quite amusing



I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your Herniated Jingle Balls
CD.  I had a boyfriend who used drive around
listening to it all year long.  I thought he was crazy,
then he made me a copy of it for my car and did the
same thing.  I lost the CD and had no idea who you
were or how to find you.  Today, after 2 hours, I found
you on AOL and then downloaded your CD from
ITunes.  Thank you for being so funny and for making
my holidays the greatest in 2006.  By the way, even
my grandmother was a big fan of yours.  
-Erica Levine
Howell, Michigan



Jesus, has it really been that long?

My introduction to Dirt was around '79 or '80, at the
Copper Keg Saloon
in
Waterford, CT. I was in the Navy, assigned to a
submarine at the nearby
navy
base. At the end of the show, I approached you in
reverence to buy a
couple
of albums (on vinyl). You asked me if I was in the
Navy, and when I
nodded,
you asked me for my Commanding Officer's name. A
little confused, I
told
you, at which time you removed the cellophane and
autographed my album
cover
with "Phil, I hear Commander Little gives good head!
John" Needless to
say,
that album was locked up WAY in the back of my
locker when it wasn't
being
played!

Since then:

I've seen your piano fall through the stage at a show
when the stage
collapsed.

I've seen countless "strip shows".

I took a girlfriend to see you - "I know a girl, her
name's Melissa,
hey
la-di-la-di-la. You'll taste my dick on her breath when
you kiss her!
Hey
la-di-la-di-la!" And you autographed a CD with "Phil,
Melissa sucks
cock
with the best of them! John" After which you gave
her a quick kiss. Her
stunned response: "He kissed me with THAT
MOUTH!"

I took my wife's parents to see you two days after her
grandfather
passed
away, as it was the only thing I could think of that
might distract her
dad.
By the way, their names are Pete and Tina. Needless
to say, you were a
big
hit that night with "Tight Twat Tina and Yukon Pete."
Pete and Tina
both
laughed until they couldn't breathe.

In addition, John, you've helped me get through two
different divorces
and a
career change. I couldn't have done it without you,
you sick bastard!
Keep
up the good work!

Phil Weston



HELLO John this is Lauri i went to your Concert in
Buffalo  on the 2 of December i sang with you and
flashed and you drank bear off my tit  how are you
doing?? i hope you made it home ok after dranking 7
or 8 shots that night it was my 1st time seeing you
and i had a fantastic time and plan on going to concert
on the 29th of December and looking forword to
singing and flashing you again lol you are a funny
man we have been listening to your cd sence we saw
you  i cant get songs out of my head  lol  well i close
for now  write me back please  your friend and fan
Lauri ( Mint)  


Well I don’t usually do this, but I want John to know
just how much I appreciate his humor. Mr. Valby, if
you get to read this – and I hope you do – THANK
YOU for always making me laugh and not changing a
damn thing about how you do your thing! I’ve been a
fan for over 20 years. I was about 12 the first time I
got to hear you. I loved it immediately of course
because it was “bad”. LOL Well needless to say I’ve
been following your success all these years. I miss
being able to see you perform! I moved to Louisville,
KY 10 years ago and every trip back to western NY I
buy all the CD’s I can find. I play your CD’s all the
time. Everyone at work loves them. Now even my
son is hooked. I hope some day you can come down
here and play! I would love to see you again and my
job doesn’t permit me to travel much unfortunately.
Enclosed is just some pictures of us listening to you
at Thunder over Louisville this year. We had a blast
and listening to your CD’s just made it better!
Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa Rhea
Louisville, KY


In 1979, I was fortunate enough to be roomed with a
fellow student
who had all of your albums including even the
bootleg version of
Philosophical Bullshit.  During the first week of
school, I came into
my room and my roomie was playing it.  OMG, I
nearly died
laughing!  I couldn't make the concert at school that
year (@
Rochester Technical Institute of Technology), but
then president
"DICK Rose before he Dicks You" banned him
because a riot started
when he tried to stop the concert (Same guy who
literally sentenced
foreign students to death because Rose was an
active member of the
CIA and didn't tell anyone).  I finally attended a
number of concerts
(I'm the fucker who always asks John to play Maple
Leaf Rag,
Innuendos, and Arf Rag in that order) and I have to
say "John, you
ARE the man".  Yes, I can play piano, but GOD I wish I
could play
like him.  If you've NEVER heard Innuendos, it's funny
as hell.  I
can still remember almost all of the words of Arf Rag
and Innuendos
even though I no longer have copies of those album s
(they were stolen
out of my car when it was broken into - hope you
enjoy the tapes you
fucker!).  So John, thanks for all the concerts the last
30 years, I
hope to find you on Dec 2nd in Blasdell (hope it hasn't
sold out!)
and I hope you continue to play until my kids get to
be 18 and I can
pass along the heritage.  And hey you fucker, when
you gonna come out
with CD versions of all the classics ???  You can't tell
me Arf Rag
has gone to the dogs too ???  So hey, get practicing
Arf Rag and
Innuendos and play them!  And for you all who have
never seen this
man in concert, you have missed one of life's
greatest events and you
need to do it before you die because otherwise:

"Not only will you lose your immortal soul
but this is how the Roman Empire Fell!"
2004 Doubleb productions
Would you like to submit a uncensored write up of Dr.Dirty
Maybe a cd of his you like or a show you went too that changed your life for the
sick of it.
Well send it. In the subject of the e-mail put valby 30
Let the world know what hooked you on DIRT
We will start posting them Today May 1,04       
Well holy shit John ya did it. It's been 30 fuckin' years
of you the great one playing dirty ditties & great music
on your beloved piano.You John are the piano man
Billy Joel sings about.We salute you John & all the
great moments over the last 30 years & we thank you
now in advance for the next 30.
From the clean to the dirty,the sick & the perverted
they are all classics.Not only are you a gifted
comedian,you are also a great musician.There have
only been a handfull of people to make it as a
comedian/musician & even less than that who can say
they have done it succesfully for 30 years. I would like
to personaly thank you for all the great times & all the
laughs when I needed them most.I would like to thank
you for letting me get to know you & call you a
friend.Heres to you big guy & lets not for get good old
Ron.Silent Ron Lombardo who we need to thank as
much for all his years of brilliant comedy writting.

Scott Brown-webmaster
Betsi Kulls
I have been a fan since the late 80's
when I had Dr. Dirty and the pixies
in pixie land. I have went to see him
every year for the past 6 years and
hope he continues to tour close
enough to make it a yearly tradition.
Every year I get more people to
come with me who had never heard
of him and they keep coming back
with more of their friends.
Congratulations on the 30 years
keep up the good work.Fuck you
George P.